Despotic Thought For The Day: It Is Better To Suck Than Blow

It is I, your Beloved and Revered Leader, checking in with all of the little people in my life and to bring awareness to the world of another potential issue of mechanical malfeasance that has been noticed by yours truly (your Beloved and Revered Leader).

It seems that the Central American dictators in the second floor palace above the abode of your Beloved and Revered Leader seem to be using a leaf blower to clean the floors in their palace rather than a vacuum cleaner.  At least this is what the noise and vibrations emanating from above seem to indicate. 

Either that or the younger brother of the deposed despot has modified their Hoover in much the same way he has modified his vehicle.  I can picture the vacuum now with blue LEDs, a coffee-can size muffler and some NOS.  The handle probably only works in the full on pimp slouch position while talking on a cell phone and wearing a Marc Ecko baseball cap sideways.

Oh well, at least it doesn’t have a stereo installed (yet).  BUM BOM BUM BOM BUM BOM BUM BOM.

And a special “Beloved and Revered Leader” shout-out goes to Cousin Vladimir in Russia.  It seems that the early returns show that he is once again setting records all over the country.  His performance in Dagestan is especially breathtaking in an area noted for its exceptional 98% voter turnout.  Exit polls showed that he was getting strong voter returns from the pet donkey, chicken and “people who died in the 1970’s” demographic.

Well done Vladimir, very well done indeed.  You serve as a noble example to all of us despots:  the Beloved and Revered Leader gives you his best wave of nom-denominational benediction.

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