The Amazing And Massively Self-Aggrandizing 100th Post

In the all important self massaging of my ego (mental masturbation would be equally acceptable here) I have decided to trumpet my brilliance from the rooftops of my blog in a manner that only Bert the Chimney Sweep from Mary Poppins could appreciate.  So this is to massively promote something that is overly minimal in the grand, and even not so grand, sweep of things.

Having made 100 posts allows all sorts of amazing things – why just last night I was allowed into the local sushi place without waiting in line.  Write a lot and velvet ropes (even imaginary ones) part in my presence.  Suddenly books are arriving at the library in a timely manner so that I can read them and then review them.

It is truly amazing that stuff is happening in the world just so that I can write about it.  It’s like so freaky, man.  England crashes out on penalties in the quarter-finals of the Euros in a manner that is demanding that I apply my stubby little fingers to the keyboard in search of the perfect amount of sarcasm appropriate to the old bastards at the FA.  Or even the goings on my favourite club, Tottenham, who managed to sack the  best manager that they have had in years in order to land the reject manager of Chelsea.

There are new soldiers to purchase and, perhaps, even paint.  There are new fish to buy and stare at them staring at me staring at them.  There are recipes to tryout on the daughter and if they approve of them then there are recipes to share.  There are books to read while pooping and bathing and then review while creating an inappropriate title involving pooping or bathing.  There are albums to obtain because they are cool and then listen to (in an appropriately cool  manner) and then write a cool review that involves pointing out just how cool I am for listening to a cool band that will be gone before the second single drops…

It is almost like I have a life just so that I can write about having a life.  So to celebrate my capacious ego and its preternaturally inflated state, here’s a quick toast that involves drinking something appropriately frothy (Urquel or Foster’s or Stella) to doing enough living LMF style that I can write another 100 posts.  So  to me and my ego and my ego’s blog.  Cheers!


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